8/14/2012 1:55 PM
In the dating world these days, between online dating and everything else, is there still a rule of waiting a few days before contacting someone once you get their phone number? And if there is, does there need to be?
From my own experience, I can say that yes, there is still a "three day rule" firmly in place and that yes, maybe there's a reason for it. Having given my number to someone on a Friday night, had they texted me on Saturday, I would have (maybe unfairly) thought, "Don't they have other things going on?" But instead, waiting until Monday night makes me think, "Oh, cool, they probably had a decent weekend but are still thinking about me."
Revealing my weird neuroses regarding dating puts me in a place of a little vulnerability, but I imagine I am not the only one who carries these prejudices regarding the too-soon contacting. Contacting someone too soon after asking for their phone number sort of feels like you're being desperate, even if you aren't. But waiting three or so days lets the person know that you didn't forget about them, that maybe you were just busy.
The issue I have is wondering why, when someone asks for your number and you willingly give it to them, do some of us think that them actually contacting us is in any way "weird"? We wanted them to contact us, right? If we didn't, we would have declined giving out the digits. Is it fear of failure or rejection? Sure, you might have hit it off or found each other attractive in the few minutes it took to swap contact info, but what about the actual date that you're expected to go on? That prospect can be nerve-racking for a lot of people (including, um, me, if we're being honest).
What we need to focus on is not thinking that the person calling or texting us is "weird" or "desperate" or creepy," but that maybe they like us, or they liked something about us, or at the most basic, that they're interested in finding out if they do like us, and not worrying so much about the time frame in which we were contacted.