6/26/2012 5:39 PM
When you're just starting a new relationship with someone you're really excited about, it's really easy (at least for some of us) to go down one of two routes: either we become so anxious about the possibility that it won't work out that we practically doom the relationship from the outset, or we entertain so many as-yet-unattainable "what-ifs" that the relationship can't live up to our unrealistic expectations.
I can only speak for the female point of view on this one, because as much as I can talk to guys about their relationships, they're not going to hand out somewhat embarrassing admissions about the way they handle themselves in the early stages of a relationship. But for women, or at least a lot of the women I know, it's really not uncommon for us to spill to our friends all of these lofty things we dream about happening (long vacations, moving in together someday, marriage, etc.) only to justify our slightly-crazy-talk with the qualifier, "You never know."
But there's a big problem in talking about huge relationship advancements that early on. For one, whether we want to admit it or not, it's pretty nuts to think about gettin' hitched after dating a really cool person for three or four months, let alone talk about it. It's important to keep realistic parameters in our heads with new relationships, difficult as it may be, because 99% of all relationships (or at least mine, in which case let's go with an even 100% so far) do not end the way we dream up in our minds.
As far as overthinking things in the negative sense, we have all gottttt to stop doing that. When someone waits a day too long to call you, it's not the end of the world. When they cancel plans the day of, it's not (usually!) because they don't want to hang out with you. When they say nice things, it's likewise probably not because they've been drawing your name in hearts on their notebook—it's because they like you, plain and simple.
Overthinking, overanalyzing, and getting way too ahead of yourself in the beginning of a relationship often has no purpose other than making us feel sort of crappy. So stop it, for your own good!
photo from Morguefile