8/8/2011 2:26 PM
You know the saying: “Nice guys finish last.” Being a nice guy, or at least one labeled as such, tends to have negative connotations, and frankly, that bums me out, since it seems like people are going out of their way to NOT be nice. To be fair, there are nice guys who need to hear, “You’re being too nice and that’s why people are taking advantage of you/your kindness,” but moreso, I find that the older I get (or the longer I’m entrenched in the “dating scene,” really), the more I appreciate guys who are considered to be “nice.”
For the record, when I say “nice guy,” I’m talking about a guy who is, plain and simple, a gentleman. I don’t mean someone who always picks up the tab. I don’t mean someone who buys lots of gifts. And I’m talking about bigger things than opening doors.
Nice guys are considerate. If they say they’re going to call you, they’ll call you. They don’t play mind games – if they like you, you know. They’re reliable. If you make plans, he won’t text you at the last minute with a cheap excuse for why he can’t make it.
A nice guy will never ask you to hang out “if you want to.” If I had a nickel for every time I wondered if I was getting a pity invite from some guy who looks in the mirror and high-fives his reflection, I’d have, well… a bunch of nickels.
A nice guy will ask you how your day was – especially if you’ve already mentioned having a crummy day. And instead of trying to one-up your story, he’ll listen and try to offer some form of comfort or commiseration.
A nice guy will never expect anything in return for doing a favor. He appreciates it when you do favors for him.
If it sounds like these are all things that you already do – congratulations, you’re probably a nice guy! Unfortunately, it seems that things like basic human consideration and being friendly are becoming a thing of the past – especially in the dating world. If someone pays for your dinner, you have to wonder if they’re expecting you to kiss them goodnight (or more) – because chances are, you’ve been out with someone like that.
So, nice guys of the world: Keep doing what you’re doing. Some of us really like it.