4/23/2012 2:51 PM
In this segment of Planet Love Match Radio, Jennifer Tapiero welcomed Dr. Reef Karim to the studio to discuss an issue that gets ignored more often than not: Attachment!
When we’re growing up, the different things that happen to us mold us into the person we are in our adult life. They don’t just disappear after they happen. Dr. Karim took some time to explain where this impact comes from on the show.
“In the psychological world, what happens to us early on in our lives impacts how we do things in our adult life,” he explained. “So, everybody knows about the critical period…when you’re growing up and how things impact you, but nobody really talks about that in regards to dating… There are these women who have these fears of attachment and fears of attachment when you’re played out when you’re really young is: mom leaves you. Dad leaves you. You’re crying and nobody comes to soothe you. Things are unpredictable with how you attach to your parents, your primary caregivers. That affects you. That doesn’t go away. That doesn’t just disappear. Suddenly, you’re this 27-year-old woman and you become super-clingy with your boyfriends. Suddenly, the guy leaves to go on a business trip for a weekend and you’re calling or texting him like 10 times a day.”
Obviously situations like the one Dr. Karim described happen all the time and many of them result in the guy leaving the girl for being way too clingy. She doesn’t see anything wrong with it because she just wants to know what’s going on. If you know what you’re dealing with when you go into a relationship, it makes it way easier to handle.
Dr. Karim closed things out by saying, “Understanding your attachment or your development profile is a really, really important part about dating because you understand what you’re bringing to the table when you go on a date; even if it’s a first date or a long-term relationship.”