9/28/2012 1:39 PM
Have you ever had a first date with someone you met online that you’re sure went poorly, but he’s still hot for date number two? The disconnect could lie with his genes.
Researchers did a study recently where they matched up 96 college men and 103 college women for three minute speed dates. They had each participant rate their level of attraction to their chatting partners and also how attracted they thought their chatting partner found them.
Universally, the guys overrated the reciprocity felt by the women that they were attracted to. Women, on the other hand, tended to underestimate the guys’ level of interest.
The researchers think that the explanation for the disconnect may be evolutionary: men who overestimated their attractiveness were more likely to keep trying to woo the ladies, which would eventually lead to success. The overestimation trait wound up being passed down.
What does this mean for your dating life?
For women, make sure that you clearly communicate when you are not interested. If you find that you are interested in hanging out as friends, but are not romantically interested, definitely let him know before accepting plans for a second or third date. And, don’t be hurt if he decides that he does not want to be just friends and would rather not spend time with you anymore. A lot of people find it uncomfortable to hang out with people for whom they feel an unrequited attraction.
For guys, don’t let yourself be too disappointed if someone you were really into breaks things off after a few dates, even though you thought the two of you were a good match. Your level of attraction to her could trick your mind into thinking she was more attracted to you than she actually was. If things don’t go as you wished, brush yourself off and make a date with someone new. Dating can sometimes be a numbers game; it often takes a little while to find the right one for you.