8/23/2012 12:16 PM
If you could tell you-of-ten-years-ago one thing about dating, what would you say?
There’s a really charming web series called Dating Rules from my Future Self that’s just entering its second season. Protagonist Lucy Lambert, played by Shiri Appleby, who also produces the series, is a mobile app designer who begins getting text messages from her future self through an app that she designed.
I’m most of the way through the first season. It’s well-worth watching, not just for the comedy and characters (which are both fantastic) but for the lessons behind the characters’ growth. In an interview with Collider.com, Appleby reveals what makes Dating Rules so powerful and spot-on. She said, “I think the show is really about the moment when a girl starts listening to the voice in her head, and listens to her subconscious to make decisions.”
Some of the best advice from the episodes I’ve seen so far:
Don’t stay with someone who makes you feel bad.
People who care about us do not constantly pick at us and find fault. If you are dating someone who wants to change you, it isn’t because there is something wrong with you. You are worthy of being loved just as you are, and if someone doesn’t get that, kick them to the curb.
Go ahead and have a fling.
Flings are fun and satisfying. They’re a low-expectation, low-commitment way to find out more about what you like. Plus, they teach you that it is absolutely okay to enjoy sex, despite whatever “bad girl” messages you’ve been saddled with. (As an aside: Lucy picks Fran Kranz, who played Topher on Dollhouse, for her fling. He is astoundingly well-built, slim but well-defined. I would never have known if not for his multiple(!) shirtless scenes, so, thank you for the eye-candy, Dating Rules.)
Listen to your own voice.
Don’t feel bound by the advice of your friends and family. Chances are, you know what you want and what is best for you. While validation can be very reassuring, getting the confidence to trust yourself is empowering.
Everything will be fine. If it isn’t, you will deal with it when the bad things actually happen. Stressing out over things that have not happened yet and things you can’t control is not even remotely helpful. So, relax, take some risks, have some fun, and give your future you a few great stories.
If you could tell your past self anything that would have made things easier for you or made you happier, what would you say?