#notetomyex is the latest relationship-based trend on Twitter. While a lot of these are pretty hostile, a lot of other ones are pretty interesting and insightful. If your last relationship ended badly, or if you feel like you need closure, writing a note to your ex can be incredibly therapeutic.

Do not, under any circumstances, send that note. This goes double or triple if it is even the tiniest bit angry, spiteful or vengeful. There is no way you come out of that looking good.

Writing that note to your ex is just about articulating all of your thoughts and emotions. The mere act of writing helps you better understand all that you are feeling, and why it’s the way that you feel.

What are some of the things that would show up in a note like that?

Sometimes, the answer will come in the form of revelations of growth. Like one twitterer said, Baby I'm too busy fixing me to be chasing you around. Ending a destructive relationship that was consuming all of your energy means that you now have time to confront all of your issues, and find all the ways you can make yourself happier.

The snarky kiss-off does have its place. Again, these are NOT messages to be sent. You’re just blowing off some steam. Whether it’s “good luck finding someone who will love you like I did.. You’re gonna need it,” or simply “you fucked up,” putting it down on paper can have a seriously liberating effect. If you are carrying a lot of anger toward your ex, write it all down. Be unfair. Be hostile. And then, when you are done, tear up the sheets and set fire to them.

Sometimes, all you need is to post some sort of well-wishes and goodbye.

Thank you for being a part of me. No bitterness. Just love <3

I liked, I loved, I lost...most of all, I learned.

Get it all out there, then get on with your life.