8/8/2012 11:30 AM
Getting back into the dating pool brings with it a lot of things to feel nervous about: first impressions on dates, negotiating the tricky issues of who pays for what, and, how is that new person going to feel about how we look with our clothes off.
A woman asked the Reddit community how much guys care about less than perfect bodies. Most women have issues like cellulite and stretch-marks; but, the constant assault of air-brushed into oblivion images in magazines and online can make you feel like your body does not measure up.
However, there is good news: over 50 guys speaking anonymously gave roughly the same answer: if they notice at all, they don’t care. “When a woman looks at her body in the mirror, she sees lots of huge flaws and imperfections. When a man looks at that woman's nekkid body, he sees a hot chick,” said one Reddit poster.
One poster after another emphasized that sexual confidence is a lot more important that physical perfection. As one Redditor said, “[the] only thing unsexy in the bedroom is somebody uncomfortable/covering up. Let your human body fly.”
Letting go of your hang-ups about your body makes sex better for you, too. In a study called “Feeling Frumpy: the relationship between body image and sexual response,” researchers found that women who felt unattractive had fewer orgasms, were less assertive in bed and had less desire to have sex.
So, if you lack body confidence, how can you get over it?
- Accept the compliment when your guy tells you that he finds you sexy. He’s telling the truth.
- Check out one of the many “real beauty” art projects that are posted online. Several groups of women have taken on experiments where they post pictures of areas like their bellies or thighs online, unedited. Look at some of these, and you’ll see that whatever flaws you have are not outside the norm.
- Get involved in a dance-oriented fitness class like belly dance, Zumba or even pole dancing. The movements feel sexy, and, you may even find yourself getting more toned and fit.
- When you’re ready to get busy with someone, don’t think about how you hate your thighs; think about how blown away (pun not intended, but handy) he’ll be by your rockin’ oral technique. By focusing on your strengths, you’ll bring sexy, swaggering confidence into the bedroom with you.