I see a lot of guys out there wishing they could meet more women, but who say that they can’t because their hobbies are mostly gaming-related. This can be a bit counter-productive in the meeting-the-ladies department, since many games are male-dominated and most online games involve a minimal amount of leaving the house.

While the most obvious suggestion is to game less and get out more, there is another solution: find a woman who is as into online gaming as you are. They’re out there. By some estimates, about 40% of gamers are women.  The trick is to know how to meet these women, and how to treat them when you find them.

How to Chat with Women In-Game

There are plenty of don’ts for chatting in-game that will get you ignored, blocked, and sometimes reported. For instance, do not ask if a player is female. It will come up eventually. Do not demand proof that she is female. Asking for proof includes everything from demanding pictures of her breasts to wanting to verify on Skype that she’s a she. This is really off-putting.

Don’t make a reference to her being “pretty good for a  girl,” if she’s beats you. Don’t blame a lack of skill on her gender if she’s not good. Everyone sucks at games when they are new, no matter what they are sporting between their legs. Do not hit on every woman who comes through the second you figure out that she’s female. Again, this is obnoxious.

Instead, try just chatting normally with women about regular topics. Dani, a female friend who enjoys gaming has some advice: “Make some (genuinely) funny jokes, ask about other games she likes to play, what they do when not gaming, etc. In other words, be a normal person talking to another normal person.”

Dani also recommends ways to build up rapport in the game: “Try offering to go on a quest or mission she might need help with or sharing in game tips or getting her back when in a fight,” she says. “Just remember, she isn’t a damsel in distress needing you to rescue her and stalking isn’t cool. If you do some of the in game things with just the two of you, you can chat and talk without other people distracting.”

Where Will You Find Women In-Game?

There are plenty of women who enjoy first person shooter games. However, you are more likely to find female players in games that have a social or collaborative element, such as League of Legends, Portal, Minecraft or Eve. Plus, these games will give you more of a chance to play together and get to know one another.

It’s rare to meet someone in-game who lives in your geographic area unless you set out to do so. Try finding locally-based guilds or local servers. However, you will have better luck when you:

Go to Gaming Cons and Meet-Ups

There are local, regional and national gaming conventions held throughout the year every year. Many areas also have plenty of meet-ups for table top gaming or LAN events. Find some to attend, make friends while you are there and make plans to play together after the event.

Put Gaming on Your Dating Profile

If meeting someone into games is important to you, make sure that you include gaming in the hobbies section of your profile. Mention specific games that you like so it will come up in search. You can also search for mentions of gaming on prospective singles’ profiles.

See if you can convert a non-gamer into a gamer.

This approach means going out and meeting people on non-gamer capacities, whether on dating sites, in coffee houses or in other places. You may find some women who are curious about gaming. Respectfully introduce them to your hobby, and invite them over for gaming dates. You may have to try with a few different women before you find one who shares your tastes, but, in the end, you can wind up with a rewarding shared activity.