1/16/2012 11:59 AM
Talking about feelings isn’t easy for everyone. It all sounds pretty simplistic, but there’s that big, uncomfortable level of vulnerability that you have to hit in order to speak your mind. That can be pretty scary and overly intimidating, but despite the challenge, it’s something that must be done in order to have a healthy relationship!
When you first start dating someone, it’s easy to ignore their bad habits or imperfections, but eventually you’re going to start to notice them. This isn’t a bad thing. No one is perfect and part of loving someone is loving their flaws, but if there are certain habits that are really irking you, speak up!
Your partner is not a mind reader, so not opening up to them can make it pretty impossible to correct the issues that you’re having. I am not advising you to attack them or make them feel badly, but if you’re getting annoyed about something you need to give them the opportunity to fix it before you write them off.
Try making suggestions to hang out with your friends more equally if there’s a major imbalance there. If you feel like all you do is hang out in groups, ask for some low-key time where the two of you can just relax and enjoy each other’s company.
There are really easy solutions for a lot of “deal breakers,” but you have to be willing to invest some of your own effort. If your motivation isn’t there, then move on to someone new, but if it’s a relationship worth working on, give your partner a fair chance to make things better!
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