7/11/2011 9:42 AM
Why do women think they can change a man? Often times they believe they can influence who his friends are, what he wears, and where he goes. Men want to be loved for who they are and not what a woman wants them to be.
Attempting to change his fashion sense is a minor offense compared to limiting his interaction with his friends. Friends are important to both sexes. Our friends bolster our self-esteem, provide us with emotional strength, and help define who we are.
A friend had recently gotten married and his new wife told him to invite his friends over because it would be the last time he could hang with them. He invited the guys and their girlfriends over to watch football; she sat away from us as if we weren’t even there. No effort was made to get to know any of us. It was a bit chilling. I left wondering how long they would be married with her dictating who his friends would be.
It’s harmful to his well-being to insist he dump his friends. Men require balance between their relationships and their friends. If the balance is tipped toward the relationship and friends are no longer in the picture, resentment will build over time. Resentment in a relationship leads to further complications that may become insurmountable. Allowing him keep his friendships is respectful and will help to build a healthy relationship.
The best thing to do is encourage his friendships. Tell him to plan his usual boy’s night out. They will more than likely go bowling, shoot hoops or play golf but whatever they do there is no need to fret about it. Remember that he is having a bit of innocent fun just as you do with the girls at the spa.