4/23/2012 2:54 PM
In this segment of Planet Love Match Radio, Jennifer Tapiero welcomed the incredibly accomplished Dr. Reef Karim into the studio. Dr. Karim is a medical physician, psychiatrist, addiction specialist, relationship therapist and author! He pulled some pointers from his book, Why Does He Do That? Why Does She Do That?, for the gentlemen out there!
For a first date to go well, you have to fully grasp which topics of conversation are appropriate and which need to wait a much longer time to mention, if ever at all. Dr. Karim talks about some of the strange things that men he’s spoken to have actually said on an initial date with a woman they were interested in.
1. Can I borrow some money?
This not only happened in real life, but the guy wasn’t even looking for help covering the check. He was hoping to borrow money for something completely different and planned to pay the girl back later.
2. You should workout.
“Any guy that says to a woman, ‘You know, I go to the gym a lot. You should workout. You really should,’ they might mean it so casually, but you know what that woman’s thinking? That woman is done with that date with that one question,” said Dr. Karim. He recommended that women in this situation ask the guy what he meant by that. This will leave him squirming and sweating while searching for nice words to explain his statement.
3. I’m going to need to know where you are at all times.
This is creepy. I don’t care how long you’ve been dating someone. This screams I’m a psychopath stalker who will be peering through your window at night and bugging your house with microphones and cameras. Even if it were worded in a less chilling way, it still shows that this guy is controlling and will analyze your every move.
“Here’s the thing about relationships. You have one person and a second person, and the entity of those two people should be better than the singleness of them,” said Dr. Karim. “But, you have an identity of your own. If you lose your identity to the relationship, that relationship will never be really healthy. So many people when they have problematic relationships, it’s because they lost their original identity or they never had one to start with.”
4. I’ve been thinking of names for our children.
This one doesn’t need an explanation because it’s just wrong on so many levels.
5. My probation officer is meeting us later.
See the statement written below #4.
6. I’m really excited to have sex with you tonight.
“If you’re remotely interested in having sex with a woman on a first date, first off: it’s probably not going to happen,” said Dr. Karim. “Second: don’t tell her that because if you ever tell her that it will never in a million years happen and you will probably never go out with her ever again.”
7. Wait. What was your name again?
This SCREAMS serial dater and shows that the guy is as far away from emotionally invested as he can possibly be. If you’re ever in this situation, just run.