Do you find that you take longer than most people to discover a sexual attraction to someone? You may be demisexual. Frequently considered a branch of asexuality, demisexuality is an attraction that exists only in the presence of an emotional connection. As with people who are asexual, demisexuals can be homo, hetero or bisexual. However, while asexuals may be either romantic, meaning that they crave romantic relationships, or aromantic, which means they don’t, demisexuals specifically require that a relationship exist in order to feel any sexual heat. Demisexuals typically will not, for instance, form celebrity crushes, or fantasize about people who they do not know well. I spoke with two people, Lily and Jade, who identify as demisexual to learn more about this misunderstood orientation.

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Monday night’s episode of House has the asexual community in an uproar! Not only are they angry about the way their sexuality was portrayed on national television, but they are also scared it will increase the already existing prejudices against them.

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After I released the story of a girl named Jennifer who is a sexual person dating an asexual, there was a lot of chatter about the fact that the couple had sex to cope with her partner’s lack of sexual attraction. Because of all the people speaking out against their coping mechanism, I went back to the drawing board and talked to several other people, this time focusing on the asexual partner in the relationship.

So, for those of you who felt that Jennifer’s side of the story was twisted, unfair or inconsiderate, here is the other perspective: an asexual person’s take on an asexual/sexual relationship.

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This is a difficult subject, mostly because there isn’t a set list of criteria that qualifies you as an asexual. After talking to several people who identify themselves as individuals who experience a complete and total lack of sexual attraction, it seems like the realization is a bit different for everyone.

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Relationships aren’t easy. This much is pretty common regardless of sexual orientation or preference, but there are definitely situations that take complicated to the next level. I’ve been delving deep into what it is to be asexual lately, and sure a relationship between two asexual people seems pretty cut and dry: no sex. But, what if you were a sexually active person who happened to fall head over heels for an asexual?

Then I met Jennifer, who is living proof that a relationship like this can work. Here’s her story.

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