Probably the number one complaint I hear from bi women is that that they don’t know how to meet girls. 

Here’s the thing, though: we meet girls all the time. What women don’t do is initiate sexual or romantic connections with them. The reason is simple, especially among women who are about a Kinsey 2 or 3: women are socialized their whole lives not to make the first move. They can signal availability, sometimes even aggressively. But, reaching out and actually doing something about it is still almost universally seen as the man’s job. So, when you remove guys from the equation, you wind up with two girls sitting on the couch twirling their hair and batting their eyes at each other with no actual action.

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I’m subtitling this one the “Lara Said Stupid Things Edition.” Well, stupid thing. And, it wasn’t so much something stupid I said, so much as a really glaring oversight.

Reaction to my bisexuality rant from the other day was, overall, pretty positive. However, a commenter on another site made a really good point: the items on the list are mostly things people specifically say to female bisexuals. And, he’s right. Many of the items on the list are gender-specific.

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We’re having Romi Klinger from The Real L Word on Planet Love Match Radio tomorrow night. Romi is bisexual, and began dating a man recently after spending time in a relationship with a female cast-mate, Whitney. As some fans are forced to (re)consider Romi’s sexual orientation, the backlash all around the internet has shown just how many bizarre notions people still hold about bisexuality. I think some of the weird ideas come from the fact that bisexuality is a less visible orientation, despite the fact that about half of all women will experience some same-sex attraction at some point in their lives. Most people tend toward monogamy, so, someone who is bisexual could, if you don’t ask and they don’t disclose, appear to be hetero or gay. But, bisexual people are actually all over the place. You could, in fact, be reading words written by one (hi there!) right now.

I’ve seen some exquisitely stupid sentiments during this latest kerfuffle, and heard a bunch of others over the years. I’ve curated a special collection of my favorite remarks here for your edification and amusement:

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Have you ever wondered why it seems to matter so much whether you like guys, girls, both or neither? Well, one organization was founded on that very question. Straight But Not Narrow is about being an ally, not an enemy. The people behind SBNN feel like sexual orientation is just part of who someone is and that it shouldn’t determine what kind of person they are or how they are treated. We’re all just people, regardless of the details!

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This is a difficult subject, mostly because there isn’t a set list of criteria that qualifies you as an asexual. After talking to several people who identify themselves as individuals who experience a complete and total lack of sexual attraction, it seems like the realization is a bit different for everyone.

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